January 31, 2011.… Defying external pressure

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster, yet again.  I woke up feeling great; the sun was shining and it appeared to be another day in Alexandria.  And then I remembered that I am in the midst of a revolution.  The streets appeared calm and I didn’t hear much going on outside, so I headed back to the grocery store to get more provisions.  I started talking to one of the grocers, but did not get far in Arabic before another man interjected in English.  He is a bank manager in Alex and updated me on the night’s events.  A new PM and VP was named, the streets were secured by the army, and sons and fathers were working night shifts to defend their homes and families.  On the streets were ordinary people helping direct traffic, setting up human blockades to defend neighborhoods from looters, and there was an air of optimism because the Egyptian people were uniting in their fight for liberation from Mubarak’s regime.
   

He shared that the most important change, in his opinion, will concern the constitution because it is currently tailored towards Mubarak.  This man insisted that the security of the people was under control, it was just now a matter of sorting through the politics.  Demonstrations were set to continue, but that they were going to be peaceful.
    

I returned home with plenty of canned goods, in addition to the ingredients necessary to make chili!!! I was looking forward to a leisurely day in the house, writing a little, reading, studying Arabic, and cooking.  Around noon, I decided a nap was in order.  About twenty minutes later, my day came crashing down.  Ryan, another Fulbright student living in Alex, called me and said we were advised to evacuate the country immediately.  I shot out of bed.  What the hell!!!?!?!?  He said he didn’t have much information, he was just going on what Andy (his roommate) told him. 
    

So, I ran to the back room and tore my suitcases down from my closet.   Dad told me right before I went to sleep the night before that this moment could come soon, but I desperately wanted to ignore him.  I guess not.  Frantically, I started making other phone calls to get more information.  Eric and Alex hadn’t heard anything yet and Megan just got into the Cairo airport from Greece and said there weren’t any available flights out anyways.  Then I got a call from Rania (she works at Fulbright).  She informed me that the embassy officially released a recommendation that all non-essential American personnel leave the country as soon as possible. 
   

My world came crashing down.  I couldn’t breathe, let alone think clearly.  I called Dr. Heba to come sit with me as I sorted through this mess.  She came over with Ashraf and Rini (her husband and daughter).  They started making phone calls to the airport in Alexandria to see what the possibilities were for me leaving. 

The conflict was, however, that I felt safe in my apartment in Alexandria.  All the Egyptians I have been in contact with have been telling me that things are moving in a positive direction and that the city is becoming more secure.  If this was the case, why did I have to leave?  I wrote in my journal the night before that I feel God saying it isn’t time to leave yet.  I know that I am biased because I do not want to leave my life here, but something feels so wrong about leaving now.  It seems so unnecessary because I am safe and things are improving.
   

I wanted a straight answer.  I called Bruce (Fulbright Commission Director).  He said that I was being “recommended” to leave, but that the decision was up to me still.  He said that if I feel safer staying put for now, then to keep my head down and wait a few days.   I liked this answer, but again, I am really biased; I don’t want to leave.
   

I called Mom and Dad.  I needed advice.  Dad braided me for even entertaining the idea of staying.  He insisted this was just the beginning of another Iranian- style Revolution and that the Muslim Brotherhood was bound to take over, turning Egypt into an oppressive Islamic government.  I am trying to understand that they are worried about their baby and that the American media is portraying this situation far worse than it actually is here.  

I keep getting calls encouraging me that things are stabilizing, so this feels so wrong though.  I started to pack in the evening.  I cried, a lot.  I am about half way through packing and have Grace’s things gathered to leave with Dr. Heba.  I am still hoping that I won’t be leaving.  Eric and Alex are set to move to Alex tomorrow (Tuesday) because the roads are clear and the city safe.  Maybe having them here will demonstrate to Mom and Dad that I am not alone and safe.  But, I really don’t think anything short of a supernatural miracle will change their minds.
    

Dr. Heba stayed over with me last night and tried to comfort me as I packed.  I made us chili and it turned out rather delicious if I do say so myself.  I talked to Eric and he told me all of the ETAs are staying put for now.  We are all set on waiting a few days to see how things develop.  Ryan is staying as well (I actually just got off the phone with him). 
    

We watched the news, flipping through stations.  There are still protests, but they appear to be peaceful.  People are still very upset that Mubarak isn’t listening to their pleas, but they seem energized by the small changes that have taken place so far.  People are also very thankful and respectful towards the army.  They have been taking their pictures, shaking their hands, and offering them sweets to show appreciation for their presence.  I am proud of Egyptians, in general, for their efforts to achieve political change.  No, it has not been ideal and at times it has been very scary, but there is an underlying sense of unity and brotherhood.